25 Feb 2010
The relationship between commitment and doubt is by no means an antagonistic one. Commitment is healthiest when it is not without doubt but in spite of doubt.
I feel like we are crawling uphill. We move forward one inch and slip back six.
I said not to call until he could figure out why he always lets me down, why he can never seem to keep a promise. He never called, I called out of habit. He says he just hasn’t been happy lately, but he can’t tell me why. I thought we were both happy, but I guess he’s been living a lie. I wish he knew what he wanted, and were as certain as I am.
This pain isn’t going to go away easily. I’m just so tired.